Hit the snooze, Jonah and Riley

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By Annette Lawless | Kansas CW

Of all the storylines I hate the most: Jonah and Riley take the cake.

Not to completely diss the highly dramatic plot of the Melrose Place writers, but the series jumped in way too deep-and now they’re asking me to care about the complex’s token couple that…well, let’s be honest, is drier-than-sub-Saharan Africa?

From the will-she-won’t-she-but-we-never-did-care-anyway engagement… to Riley’s drunken smooches with Chef man-candy Auggie… to the bizarre tension between Jonah and Ella (Why would she care for a guy so…average?)… Ri and Jonah might actually get some depth, coming in tonight’s episode, Windsor, where Riley gets her first gig at modeling.

Riley poses for photographer Jo Reynolds (Daphne Zuniga, from the original MP) only to learn that her modeling skills are sub-par for the Real Denim line.

“You’re doing great,” says Jo, already highly skeptical of Riley’s amateur modeling skills. “I’m just gonna shake it up a bit…look for a different look. So um, keep the jeans… and…”

Check out this clip from tonight’s episode for more!

OH… AND IF THAT WE’RE ENOUGH, WE’VE GOT A SPOILER ALERT: RUMOR HAS IT THAT ONE CAST MEMBER WILL DIE BY THE END OF THE SEASON-IF NOT SOONER.

BUT WHOM SHALL IT BE?

Who would you prefer be cast off?

Well, in the sea of mediocre relationships, I’d certainly vote Riley or Jonah off this island.

BUT the red-hot Violet has my sole vote for two reasons:

1. Ashley Simpson-Wentz. Cute gal, but she can barely can’t act. I can almost read those cue cards, Ash!

2. Vi’s crazy but boring–if a character accomplishes this, give ‘em the boot! Little potential for development of Vi. Riley and Jonah at least have the sexual rifts between other neighbors and developing storylines.

ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT: In an interview with ‘TV Guide,’ Riley (Jessica Lucas) says this season, Jonah does get another love interest. BUT WILL IT BE THE FIESTY ELLA?

Will Riley continue her work in modeling? it’s quite possible. after the launch of this jean campaign, Riley garners a lot of attention–something she inevitably struggles with. But she might hone in on the glitz and drop those paint-and-paste schoolkids for good. (And hey, I’m all about amping up the girl’s dynamic. Modeling job = more drama. School teacher = less sexy)

So as tonight’s episode privies, we have some hope for Riley and Jonah-not because it’s the start of the death to their relationship… but because it’s the start to the depth of their characters. I never cared for them in the beginning, but once the neighborly sex-tug-of-war begins, the who’s-sleeping-with-who plot might get a little more interesting.

Check out more of my Melrose Place blogs with The Crew at the Kansas CW!